Newtown

We were so shocked to hear the news from Newtown, Connecticut on Friday. I got a text from a friend during the day, and Chris of course learned of it at work. We also heard from Apple and Milli's mom that she had not shared anything with them, and with little Jack with us as well, we didn't say anything to the children on Friday night about what had happened. Not having technology in the house does have its advantages as there was no chance for the children to see anything about it on a TV or computer. It may also have served as some emotional protection for us -- people who I saw at the PTA party on Friday night who had been watching the devastating news reports all day were so shaken and upset from vicariously living through the event, and while we were of course deeply saddened, we hadn't been living with the images all day.

On Saturday morning we did tell the girls briefly, because we didn't want them to hear about it from other people whether at dance practice or at church -- we knew people would be talking about it and be very upset and we thought it would be frightening to them to hear about it that way. We did hide the newspapers though so they wouldn't see any images or coverage, and of course no TV or computer. It was a little surreal to go through our fun weekend with the background knowledge that so many families had suffered unimaginable loss and were in such overwhelming grief. Our first instinct was to try to protect the girls and Jack, because they are so young to have to face such tragedy. And, because being with the children and doing all our fun activities was so consuming (there really is a difference between taking care of 5 children and taking care of 2!), I had stretches of time when I wasn't thinking about it, and then it would come back. At night when I was able to read the paper and look at the computer after the kids were asleep, that's when I really felt it.

This morning I got a text from the girls' school outlining plans for processing with the children. They plan to have brief class meetings that focus on feeling safe and on coping skills rather than the details of the event, which are so horrific. I pray that Fer and Wendy are able to feel compassion for the families that are suffering while still retaining some sense of safety and security for themselves and for us. They have already gone through so many hard times, and while a tragedy like this one is so frightening for all of us, I believe it is especially so for children who have known suffering on such a personal level. We will hold them especially close in the days to come.