FAQs #1-3

FAQ #1: Are you going to adopt them?

We hope so, but we want to experience the 5 weeks with them first to be sure it is the right thing for them and for us. In any case, we aren't able to make any kind of final commitment until after the hosting program is over and they return to Colombia. Because I've read so many stories on the internet about delays in the process, we decided to get as much paperwork done as we could ahead of time, so that if we do decide to adopt, we are ready to roll soon after they leave.

As Kidsave host parents, we're committed to advocating for the children as well as discerning whether adopting them will be right for us. The hope is that when they return to Colombia, there are at least two families interested in adopting them. That way, if anything goes wrong, there is a backup in place. As the host parents, we have the right of first refusal, so we will definitely be able to apply to adopt them if that is what we decide.

We know many of you will be interested in how the discernment process is going, but we are hoping to be able to experience the 5 weeks without lots of discussion throughout about long-term plans. We will definitely let everyone know when we come to a decision or if we have anything to share, but we would ask you not to ask us about our thoughts on whether we will adopt, especially not in front of the children (see below). We are very grateful for your understanding of this request -- we know it's a somewhat strange dynamic!

FAQ #2: Do the children know they are here to find an adoptive family?

This is a very awkward issue. They apparently do know, but we are not allowed to discuss it with them (which I completely agree with, more on that below). The Summer Miracles program is in its fourth year in Colombia, so many of the children have probably seen other kids from their orphanage come to the U.S. for the summer, return home, and then an American family arrive some time later and adopt them. Fernanda actually participated in Summer Miracles last summer, so she likely has even more awareness than other kids might of the purpose of the program. As far as talking with the children about adoption, we are strongly advised against doing so because if anything were to go wrong, the heartbreak would be devastating. Apparently in the past there have been Kidsave host families who have discussed adoption with their host child because they were certain about their decision, but then after the child returned home, something unexpected came up and they were unable to proceed. It was extremely traumatic for all but especially for the child. So (this probably does not need to be said), please do not talk about adoption with the children. It is the elephant in the room, but for their best interests, we all need to pretend it is not there. We really thank everyone for their sensitivity and understanding of this.

FAQ #3: What happened to their parents? or, Why are they in an orphanage?

We have limited information about the specifics of the children's history, knowing only that their mother passed away and their father was then unable to care for them. If we proceed with adopting, we will learn more. However, this is obviously very personal information, which really belongs to the children and not to us. Even when we know more ourselves, we will likely not have much more to say. Once more, we really appreciate your sensitivity and understanding.