A Memorable Weekend

We had a wonderful weekend with Fer and Wendy -- they seem so happy and just enjoy and learn from the different things we do together. We are so blessed in their adjustment to their new life. As you may imagine, I read many blogs about adoption, and there are so many parents out there who are walking through fire to do their best to help their children heal and grow. Tragically, so much of their intense effort seems to yield limited results as their children struggle with persistent and pervasive attachment disorders and other mental health issues. I have been so moved by their sacrifice and commitment, and it has certainly put some of our struggles into a helpful perspective. While we do have our challenges at times, our girls for whatever reasons have adapted amazingly well to all the new experiences they have had, and they really seem to love being part of our family. As I keep saying, we are truly blessed and are so grateful. While we thought we were prepared for a range of possibilities, as I read about the realities of parenting children with RAD (reactive attachment disorder), I honestly don't know if we would have been able to handle it. I am so inspired and awed by the struggles of those who are in that situation, and it certainly makes me feel humble about my own relatively small frustrations.

So, to report on our weekend. On Saturday morning, we leaf-raked with the Girl Scouts in Riverside Park. Fer and Wendy had a great time raking and then doing a scavenger hunt with the volunteer director for different kinds of leaves and trees. She was incredibly knowledgeable and so generously gave of her time to help them complete the activity so they could earn their patch. And in Girl Scouts, it's all about the patches and badges! We then went down to the Chelsea Piers bowling alley for Apple's birthday party. The girls were so excited to see Apple and Millie again and had a great time bowling and eating. The party was a lot of fun and as Fer said, "it was so nice of Apple to think of me." When we got home, we cleaned the house in preparation for Fer's soccer team's party (the girls have become such a help around the house, especially now that their allowance is tied to the chores that they do!), and then called Hugo and Leidy. The kids talked for more than 40 minutes, and it was so great to hear them laughing and talking about their weekend, their school, their friends, and so on. I imagine it really helps Hugo and Leidy envision their new life to come in the States to see Wendy and Fer and hear about what they do.

And today we went to St. James' for the Bicentennial celebration service. The Presiding Bishop, Katharine Jefferts Schori, celebrated the Eucharist and preached. The girls have to hand in a signed bulletin every week at school to prove they went to church along with a reflection on what they learned -- I confess I kind of like the idea of handing in this week's leaflets with the Presiding Bishop's signature on them! The processional was basically my life passing before my eyes -- from Hays Rockwell who was the rector when we joined the church when I was a child, to Carol Anderson who was one of the priests on staff then and who now serves a church in California where in the mid-90s I had a "Jesus in the pew with me" religious experience of God's presence, to Mark Anschutz who hired me to run the youth group at St. James' back in 1993, to Craig Townsend and Brenda Husson who were my mentors for most of my time in youth ministry at St. James', to Vicki Hall who was a great partner in ministry to children and youth, to Sabune, who was a treasured colleague and friend and partner in mission and youth ministry and who married us (I actually took the title of this blog from his sermon at our wedding). I also saw many parishioners from my time there and that was wonderful too. The girls were amazing -- they were patient during an hour-long wait for the service to begin and then were so well-behaved throughout the 90+ minute service itself, either entertaining themselves with activities we brough or following along. We stayed for a little while afterwards and then had to race back up to Riverdale for Fer's last soccer game and the team end-of-season party, which we hosted. The Green Clovers ended the season with a tie, and Fer was very pleased with her trophy!

So all in all, a great weekend. The girls have learned so much English in the last few months and are developing emotionally and intellectually before our eyes. Fer took great steps this weekend to overcome her shyness with meeting new people -- we talked before the party and before the church service about how it would be when we introduced her, what she could say, etc., as often she was covering her mouth with her hand or burying her face into my waist when she would meet someone new. She was so adorable practicing in the elevator, "'Hello, I am Fernanda Weeks! And jou are?' No no no! I will say, 'Hello! Nice to meet jou!'" (She still says "j" instead of "y" in certain words). And she did it! At both events, she shook hands, looked people in the eye, smiled, said hello -- we were so proud of her and she was so proud of herself. And Wendy read at least 7 books this weekend. I brought home some new books for her to try last week, and she just sits and reads and reads with enthusiasm and intensity. Her reading and her writing have improved by so much just since the start of year, and this weekend she completed her book log for her 25th book! Which means she has met the state standard for the year by November. Not that she's going to stop reading by any means, but it is pretty great. We are so proud of both of them and feel so lucky to be their parents.