Christmas Morning in South Orange

We had a really lovely Christmas morning -- Fer and Wendy were so sweet opening their stockings and gifts. They just had this sense of peace about it -- after each one they would spend a few moments looking it over and then calmly go to the tree for the next. We mainly did books and clothes, they each got a DVD they had been wanting, and then the "big" present was a bike for Fer and a scooter for Wendy -- we realized during Sandy that they had outgrown those and really needed new ones.

Though we didn't have nearly the level of intensity about Santa this year, Wendy did write to him to ask him his phone number and the names of his reindeer, and we left her letter out along with the obligatory cookies and milk. This is Santa's reply:

HO HO HO!! MERRY CHRISTMAS 2012!!

Dear Fer and Wendy,

We are so happy to see how well you are doing. You have had a fabulous year and the elves and Mrs. Claus and I are so proud of you!!

I don’t have a phone because there is no reception at the North Pole. We communicate by letter and I get a lot of mail! As for my reindeer, you know the song – but a few of them are Dasher and Dancer and Prancer.

Merry Christmas! We love you very much!! You are wonderful girls!!! And thank you for the cookies and milk!

Much love,
Santa

HO HO HO!! MERRY CHRISTMAS 2012!!

Christmas Eve

The morning of the 24th, Chris and the girls worked on the gingerbread house, courtesy of Tia Amy:

And we loved having Tia B and Uncle L with us for Christmas Eve dinner! We had a smorgasbord of Christmas fare, with Tia B eating vegan and gluten-free, Larry a vegetarian, the girls and Chris on the meat/potatoes side of the spectrum, and me able to swing both ways. But we made it work and all was yummy if I do say so.

After dinner we went to the candlelight service at First and Trinity. It was a wonderful chance to reflect on all the gifts we have been given and on how grateful we are. When we got home, we indulged in what has become a rather sappy family tradition, a viewing of a Disney set of Christmas videos that culminates with the story of "Small One" a probably little-known cartoon set in the time of Christ. It's about a donkey (Small One) who is taken to the market by his young owner to be sold because he is too old to work, and it at first appears that Small One is only of interest to prospective buyers for his hide, of course totally unacceptable to the young boy who loves him dearly. At one point the local horse auctioneer makes fun of Small One, with the boy insisting that Small One is fit for a king's stable, and then, of course, in the final minutes, Joseph buys Small One to help take Mary to Bethlehem, and the last scene, with swelling violins, is of the Christmas star over the manger, with Small One presumably there bearing witness. It is completely silly, and I cry and cry. The girls peer at me weeping and scold me and hand me kleenex, but I think they secretly love it too. :)

Advent Lunch

We got together with good friends to put up our Christmas decorations and celebrate the last Sunday of Advent. It was so nice to be together and to get ready together for Christmas!

Earlier in the day, Wendy put up the creche on the mantel:

And the girls wanted their white tree, so that got a place of honor:

Two more days to Christmas!

Newtown

We were so shocked to hear the news from Newtown, Connecticut on Friday. I got a text from a friend during the day, and Chris of course learned of it at work. We also heard from Apple and Milli's mom that she had not shared anything with them, and with little Jack with us as well, we didn't say anything to the children on Friday night about what had happened. Not having technology in the house does have its advantages as there was no chance for the children to see anything about it on a TV or computer. It may also have served as some emotional protection for us -- people who I saw at the PTA party on Friday night who had been watching the devastating news reports all day were so shaken and upset from vicariously living through the event, and while we were of course deeply saddened, we hadn't been living with the images all day.

On Saturday morning we did tell the girls briefly, because we didn't want them to hear about it from other people whether at dance practice or at church -- we knew people would be talking about it and be very upset and we thought it would be frightening to them to hear about it that way. We did hide the newspapers though so they wouldn't see any images or coverage, and of course no TV or computer. It was a little surreal to go through our fun weekend with the background knowledge that so many families had suffered unimaginable loss and were in such overwhelming grief. Our first instinct was to try to protect the girls and Jack, because they are so young to have to face such tragedy. And, because being with the children and doing all our fun activities was so consuming (there really is a difference between taking care of 5 children and taking care of 2!), I had stretches of time when I wasn't thinking about it, and then it would come back. At night when I was able to read the paper and look at the computer after the kids were asleep, that's when I really felt it.

This morning I got a text from the girls' school outlining plans for processing with the children. They plan to have brief class meetings that focus on feeling safe and on coping skills rather than the details of the event, which are so horrific. I pray that Fer and Wendy are able to feel compassion for the families that are suffering while still retaining some sense of safety and security for themselves and for us. They have already gone through so many hard times, and while a tragedy like this one is so frightening for all of us, I believe it is especially so for children who have known suffering on such a personal level. We will hold them especially close in the days to come.

Holiday Fun 2012 (finally!)

We had a wonderful time hosting Jack, Apple and Milli while their parents were away at a wedding. Between Christmas cookie baking, a few holiday videos, Wendy's holiday dance performances, and the Christmas pageant at our church, we certainly (finally) got into the spirit of the season, though tempered for the adults by the knowledge of what was going on in Connecticut.

Hot chocolate at Starbucks while we were waiting for Apple and Milli to arrive by train:

After we got back from the train station and had dinner, the kids did some puzzle time together and watched a post-dinner video. I timed my attendance at the PTA holiday party and was able to get there and back in the time it took them to watch "Cheaper by the Dozen!"

On Saturday afternoon, the kids enjoyed some holiday videos (Frosty the Snowman and Frosty Returns) and cookie baking with our neighbors Amy and Abby joining in:

Wendy's dance team performed at the Livingston Mall on Saturday evening, so we all headed over there to support her:

On Sunday Fer and Wendy took part in our church's Christmas pageant:

And then Sunday afternoon we all went to see Wendy's dance team's holiday show. Christine and Matt and Katie and Harriss joined us straight from the airport. They were able to catch the end of the show and were reunited with their children after a very busy and fun weekend. For us, we had a lovely quiet evening last night after such an active time -- Chris watched another Frosty the Snowman video with the girls (by Wendy's special request, he was quite touched), and I did some holiday cookie baking and holiday card writing. Countdown to Christmas -- one week left. . .

Fer's One Direction Song!

So Fer has apparently taken on the Lanckton song-writing tendency, the one where you take a familiar song and write new lyrics for it. We have a family tradition of writing medleys for important occasions, and some of my favorite memories are singing with my sisters, mom, and aunts at birthday celebrations, weddings and anniversary parties.

On Monday night Fer started writing her own version of One Direction's "You Don't Know You're Beautiful." First line: "You think you're weird . . " I asked her who the song was about, and she said it was about her. We started working on it together, and I helped her (I think) come up with a version that truly reflects some of the wonder that is Fer. Then she re-wrote a lot of it and made the whole thing much better. So proud of her! Here 'tis:

FER’S ONE DIRECTION SONG!

You think you’re weird
Don’t know what for
You’re acting fine when you walk through the door
Don’t need coolness to be the best
Cause everyone else think you’re perfect
Everyone else in the room agrees
Everyone else but you

Baby I like you because you are talented
You are so fun and so smart and you’re just my type
You are so pretty and good so come on and play

If only you saw what I could see
You’d change your mind like a fly that was never slapped
Right now I’m looking at you and I can’t believe
You think you’re weird cause you act so randomly
But still I like you because you are just my type
I just think you’re beautiful

So co-come on, you’re not that weird
Just cause you act so randomly doesn’t mean that you’re weird
You’re shaking heads when I tell you you’re beautiful
Everyone else in the room agrees
Everyone else but you

Baby I like you because you are talented
You are so fun and so smart and you’re just my type
So please don’t think that about you cause you’re just great
I think you should change your mind very soon because . . .
I just think you’re beautiful!
 

What We're Reading and Stealth Santa Year 2

In the spirit of Oscar Wilde's epigram from the Importance of Being Earnest -- "I keep a diary in order to record the important secrets of my life. If I didn't write them down I should probably forget all about them." -- I thought I would just capture a few memories as really, I will forget all about them if I don't.

First of all, reading in our family. Fer has become a more and more engaged reader this fall. She is loving the Beacon Street Girls series, a series about a group of friends in 7th grade. I think it is helping her imagine next year, when she transitions from elementary school to middle school. She also bought Diary of a Wimpy Kid, and seems to be dipping into that between the Beacon Street girls. She and her friends love the boy band One Direction, and she has a big book about them that she also has read and re-read. Wendy is loving Geronimo Stilton and Thea Stilton -- I read to her every night and we have read 3 Geronimo Stilton Kingdom of Fantasy, a Thea Stilton Journey to Atlantis, and we are now in the middle of another Thea Stilton mystery. The vocabulary is relatively very advanced in these books and she is so curious that she will stop me whenever she hears a word she doesn't know to ask. I confess I sometimes substitute words that I know that she does know so as to encourage her to settle down to sleep! I have been too busy to read anything for fun recently, just the newspaper and magazines, but I hope that after Christmas I'll have some time. Chris is always reading a book from the library, usually non-fiction about sports or music (most recently Bruce Springsteen).

And, Stealth Santa 2012. Not as funny as Stealth Santa 2011, but so far (knock wood) very effective. Basically I had a brainstorm a few days after Thanksgiving that many people, especially Facebook friends with similar adoption stories to ours, who had decorated their houses to the nines the day after Thanksgiving, were experiencing much higher levels of anxiety and stress at home due to their children going bananas (the clinical term) with Christmas anticipation. So, though it has been kind of sad for me as I have enjoyed in the past putting up the tree and creche and stockings and playing Christmas music all through December, this year we have done very little about Christmas at home as a family. The kids watched the Grinch at our Advent Tea, we have a little Advent calendar with windows for each day that they have been opening, some holiday cards have arrived, but that's about it. And, they continue to sleep through the night (which they have for a few months now, thank God), there have been no meltdowns or tantrums, and things feel pretty normal. Compared to last year with all the managing of expectations and constant talk of Christmas gifts, it has been overall a lot less stressful. Now, it's still 2 weeks til Christmas, so we keep our fingers crossed this will continue, but it seems to me that not having the constant visual reminder of the tree, the lights, the stockings, etc. has really helped with keeping things calm. And we like calm. We like calm a lot. I think our tree and decorations will go up on December 23, and I'm working to be OK with that.